It's 2am and I can't sleep. I have fears and doubts running through my mind and the wonderful upbeat inner voice that was so exuberant to be on this weight loss journey seems to be on holidays.
Where did that excited and strong willed woman go? Who is this person sitting here writing now? I have been struggling this last week with food choices in a big way. Truthfully, not even struggling - just making bad ones. I haven't cooked dinner or made a lunch in weeks. We've been ordering pizza or dining out or skipping meals altogether. For a variety of reasons I have ended up off plan. But I can't seem to find the motivation to get back on plan right now.
I believe the junk I've been eating has sapped my strength and my strength of will to stay on track. I feel depressed, lethargic, tired but can't sleep, headachey and really unattractive. The scales have not reflected the damage - yet - and I continue to weigh myself every day. It goes from 189.6 to 192 but never higher or lower. I am scared of putting weight back on. Right now I'm also hating myself for not being persistent. I don't want to feel this way. I want to get back on plan and keep my shizit together and lose another 5 pounds this month.
I need sleep and hopefully in the morning I'll feel better about things. I have a food plan tomorrow and hopefully i'll keep it together and stick to it.
Wish me luck...
Sorry for the negative side sob story.
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